It's been very stressful for me. Not physically but mentally. Everything seems to come at one go. I feel suffocating. Personal life.. now comes my work related issues. Seriously I feel like crying. I miss the old life, and many of my close friends. I miss Piggie Lim, I miss Naughty Friend Angeline, I miss part time gf LinLin... ...

Sometimes I feel I keep repeating certain things. Not because I forget what I already mentioned. But I want to emphasize what I had already said. Things are piling onto me. Cannot breathe ar! I need a getaway. :((

I really don't wish to make myself dependent on drinks to numb myself. I wanna stand alone and fight. Even if there is no one with me. I will be strong. One day. I will succeed. :D

All the friends who went in National Service with me, are all going to ORD already. They are stepping out to the outside world again. I am still here. HAHA. It also means I still have 4 years to go. I can do it. Anyway I don't think I have a choice lol. But my old ORD date 08082010 will be the worst day of my life currently. HAHA. Maybe I take MC stay home lol.

I seriously need to cut down on drinking. This hobby aka bad habit is costing me a bomb. Imagine every week spending $200 plus on drinks. LOL. Madness indeed. Need to cut down so I have more money to shop and buy things for myself. This is more rational although its still spending lol. Peeps all think I love drinking. You all think I mad is it? I won't indulge myself into drinking unless I am troubled or feeling low. Anyway I am not feeling very good inside that is why you see me drinking every week. Drinking is nothing. Its the effect when you start to get high due to excess of the drinks.. the numbness is what I want. Only that short one two hours I can feel nothing. No pain. No worries. I know I am silly. I am.

Anyway I ordered and paid for this jacket online. Then they send me email say the jacket now currently out of stock. They will transfer me the money back. OKAY WTH GOT SO UNLUCKY NOT WTF I WANT TO BUY SOMETHING ALSO GOT SOMETHING CROP UP TO STOP ME THANKS LEH ASSHOLE. Anyway I think this month I am a little tight too. Maybe its a sign. To make me stop spending lol. :D

It's been long. Since Saturdays have been that fun. And I am out on a Saturday! Usually I will go out on Friday night then KO-ed the whole Saturday recovering lol. And last night ma dear navy instructor Jackson joined me. Damn happy. But seriously cannot alone go drinking with him. YOU WILL JUST DIE. It's not even 11pm I was about to KO already. His way to drinking is madness. Lucky slut (Kayden) came I faster run back to my table hahahahaha.

Everyone is EMO. When the light falls, everyone seem to transform into some dark emo freak hahahahahahaha. And that includes me.. sometimes only okay. I always wanted to help. Like if I can I will, but I can't most of the time. Its the same, like nobody can help me unless I decide to start breathing and start everything over again. Things change. People change. But how come I don't feel myself changing? LOL. I am still the one who gets the worst for himself. The one whom people think doesn't deserve the best. HAHAHAHAHAHA I think I am really starting to be a little too paranoid and having low esteem now lol.

Finally met up with Huilin and her precious baby girl Yu Xuan! HAHA! she is damn funny I swear. I was very talented cos I was able to communicate with her using 'AH', 'EH', 'OH' and she replied LOL! We had a good laugh while having dinner at North Point's Manhattan Fish Market. OMG it used to be much tasty in the past but now.. too oily for me. OMG am I growing old and grumbling about too much things lol.




Have decided not to go drinking today. Tomorrow I don't know lah hahahahahaha. Because my rashes just subsided so I don't wanna anything to trigger it to come back. I swear its damn ugly and SCARY :(


Weekends are soo mine this week. I can rest. I can do all my things. I can relax and enjoy before the week starts again on Monday ROARS! I so gonna go blading tmr if it doesn't rain. I know I know I have been saying only not doing it. But you know hor everytime I wake up I see super thick dark clouds swarm above the sky outside my room's window lol. I am sure this is not an excuse okay bye. :D

Omg. Twilight Eclipse is super nice. I don't know why some people say its not nice. Probably they only watch the show to see the handsome and pretty leads, not really trying to feel and understand the story. Seriously I can feel everything 'Jacob' is feeling inside the show. Totally. I've been through it. Someone pls bring me to go watch again. I think I can watch it 3 times. The actions are superb too.