now in grandma's house...
ate lunch le...
den most important de thing...
is drink granny's de tea!!!
she brewed it herslef lor...
the best ever tea i drank ever...
hahahaha...
beteer than those indian de... =x
hais...
4 days no see her le...
wonder how's she...
but at least got contact lor...
not enough... =x
i wanna see her...
look at her...
miss her sia!!!
hais...
hope next week can see her more...
*brightens up my day*
later going out with hui huang... go orchard...
walk walk den eat dinner...
talk talk lor...
3 mths no see her le...
hahahaha
_blog later agin bahz_
missess her loadsSsSsSsss

sOoOooo many times this two days...
i thought of juz giving up...
but i can't...
something in me stop me...
hais...
i dunno wat to do now...
i miss her though...
every min...
every sec...
every moment when i'm awake...
nothing stops it...

today happened something idid not realise i did it...
OMG!!!!
i think i was possessed by the devil lor...
i said something that will cause me into deep trouble...
die...
Maureen...
don think it's right...
hais...
too fast le...

maybe i should try my best to control my feelings...
don wanna let my friend knows that i'm unhappy...
later affect their mood... =(
feeling hopeless yet hopeful...
contradicting rite?
'coz i'm trying my best to not lose hope totally...
i want to believe that God will do something for me de...
faith is all i need...~
but now i don have the courage...
to take on that truth...
truth hurts...
i felt sOoOoOo moody nowadays...
that my temper realli grew hot...
i will blow up in front of my classmates...
i will get pissed off easily...
everytime i changed...
i changed for her...
i changed to become a better guy...
i changed to have a better image...
[now i don bite finger nails le!]
i still miss her...
_missing her like no words can describe_

hungry and lonely...~
the worst scenario ever...
i miss her now...~

i feel i like a mad man...
keep looking for true love...
but keep getting hurt instead...
funny rite?..._
nothing i can say or do...
it's all up to my fate... destiny i should say...
sOoOoo long i have not sleep well...
i have not been the real me...
what people see in me now is juz the surface...
they don understand me at all...
maybe 'coz the way i present myself...
people will think i play play type...
but i'm serious...
i am!
love hurts me more than it bless me...
but still i yearn for it...
i want to change my plight...
my plight of lonliness...
i kept holding on one after another...
'coz i don want to lose hope totally...
i'm still waiting for my true one...
that special one...
i always thought i had found her...
but somehow or rather i was often let down...
why me?
my friends are all sOoOooo blessed and happy...
wat 'bout me?...
everything i do, i do it alone...
with my own strength...
how i wish there's this 'her' to share...
to share my work.. happiness.. worries..
*i miss her*

didn't felt much better till now...
still feeling so sad...
having to face the fact...
i don have the courage...
in the past i can often hide my feelings...
and present the best in front of my friends...
but now i feel i can't...
lucky i still can control my tears sia...
or else i will be crying on the bus...
hais...
btw-->i am not a crybaby...
not many things can make me tear...
but relationships stuffs are often my weakest point...
because i always put in 100% love and concentration...
since i can't have her...
i shall juz stay by her side bahz...
it's better than being alone...
though the feelings not the same...
many people said that status is not important...
for me it depends bahz...
nothing i can do...
nothing i can change...
nothing i can hope for...
the road in front of me seems long...
and completely blank...
my mood and temper getting worst and worst...
God noes everything...
i have faith you will bring me outta this torment...
hope after these rainy days i will get to see the rainbow of my life...
i still lurve her loads...
cum missess her lotsa...

another half an hour starting enteprise UT...
the last UT i did was horrible...
but somehow all the year one students did sOoOoo badly...
that the module chair had to moderate the marks...
sOoOoo that there will be more passes...
by the way...
yesterdayyy realli no mood...
face turned black...
nothing motivates me now...
i juz don wan to accept the fact...
that she can only be my best friend...
i hate this...
yesterday talk to maureen thru messenger...
i told her roughly about it...
den she keep asking me to move on...
i want to...
but i'm juz sOOOooo reluctant...
i rather live in my own world...
and live like this foreva...
but somehow all the problems and sadness came upon me...
when i was in the bus back home...
really sOoOoOooo many things ran thru my mind...
like tidal waves...
they kept coming...
i am really tired...
i can't be always waiting...
i've been waiting...
and waiting...
and waiting...
till no end...
what shld i do?
to act blurr?
or to do something? ( like give up?)
i can't!!!!
i feel like crying...
everyday i feel i'm in a prison...
waiting for the time to be let out...
what i happening...
i still miss her a lot...

the feeling's getting stronger...
the feeling of hopeless...
i don see anything ahead of me now...
i tried my best...
but i feel maybe i am not good enough...
maybe i am juz not that one...
i am lousy...
a typical and average guy...
no one appreciate...
no one loved...
always lonely...
no soultion...
i shall juz live with it...
i will move on...
should i?

it's raining...
today should be sleeping at home...
curling in my warm blanket...
sOoOooooo sad...
i can't...
i cannot skip anymore of Cognitive module le...
'coz already skip for the max. times...
hais...
todayyyy got training...
hope don rain can le...
missess her loads and lotsa de person aka edwin

finally...
nightmares over...
i wonder when there will be good computing lessons...
i had enough lor...
everytime got 'C'...
wanna work hard also no use...
'coz i don even understand lor...
going home soon...
waiting for her to complete everything...
RJ and evaluation all that...
wanna go home rest...
my eyes wanna close door le...
i think i gonna sleep on the shaking bus...
think not eating dinner again le...
ke lian!!! ='(
nvr mind lah..
can save money...~

today computing module...
the problem sOoOooo difficult...
need to use things learn in A-maths de...
then i nvr take lor...
sOoOooo i've got no idea of what the facilitator is talking about...
those in my class who took A-maths already say dunno how to do le...
me die le lahz...
my facilitator everytime pick on me...
'coz i everytime dunno anyhting...
it's because now doing statistics...
then my probability very very weak...
wonder how i gonna survive...
luckily this is the last problem for statistics...
or else i think i realli gonna get all 'C's for my computing...
=(
later sending her home...
she nvr go study nvr go out also...
wonder what happen sia...
sound sOoOoo serious in her sms juz now...
hope nothing wrong sia...
missess her lotsa de ren= edwin =)

hais...
morning she sms me say no study le...
sad lah...
nvr mind lor...
still got many opportunities...
maybe can send her home...
also dunno...
see how lor...
missess her loads de ren= me...

sOoOoooo tired now...
yesterayyy no blog...
'coz can't even walk steadily le...
not saying blooging...
hais...
have match in the morning...
won a silver medal...
then got training in the afternoon...
followed bt church in the night...
i wonder sometimes if i'm a superman sia...
do sOoOoo many things on every saturday...
yesterday cos very tired that's why no mood...
den plus my hunger...
sOoOooo i look abit fierce i think...
that's wat she told me...
den nvr realli train with her... =(
i hope i will next training...
ok bahz...~ bye for now...

pon school juz now as i had said...
studied maths after breakfast...
den went shopping 'coz need to wait for friends...
who did not pon school... =x
to watch the movie " The Island "...
such a nice show...
good introduction, climax, ending...
everything lah...
the storyline's great too...
edwin=happy spending time with her...
i realli treasure all my time with her now...
other than in school and badminton training...
i won't be seeing her...
and even if it's school days...
i might not be seeing her for days...
dunno lehz...
she juz give me the feeling to want to stay with her...
that warmth...
no one can describe...
everytime after going out with her...
i will yearn for more of those moments...
i dunno how...
i dunno how to not think of her...
i miss her every moment...
when i'm awake...
am i falling deeper?
i'm sOoOooo afraid i will be told that...
'YOU HAVE NO CHANCE'...
i don even dare to think of it...
'coz of that's the way i rather stay like this...
at least i get to see her...
and spend time with her...
God...
pls do something...
i'm still waiting for an answer from you...
i hate all these waiting...
and hoping...
i am too tired...
love her...

using wireless in mac...
in town ( Lido)...
better than seeing that irritating facilitator...
ok...
don wan talk about her...
spoil my mood only...
btw...
now at least i am outta cls and enjoying at the moment...
going for movie i think...
then heading home for dinner...
don wanna waste money...
hahaha...
'coz tmr will be a long dayyy then no money i die...
she's beside me = i'm happy...
hahaha...
juz hope more of these days will come by...
and i want God to settle those doubts in me...
he knows what are they... do you?
lolx...
okok... buaiz now~

yeah!
later going off after my Communication UT...
'coz todayyy is science module...
and i don quite like this module...
'coz i don quite like the facilitator...
btw...
i don really that sure she will pon with me...
yeterday when i ask her...
she was like...
sOoOoooo reluctant...
wonder why...
everytime also she ask me want pon...
hahahaha... =x
i hope can...
but then i already told my the other friend...
that even if they are not joining me...
i will also pon school...
and nothing to do i will juz go home and sleep...
i juz hope and want to spend time with her... =p
for the time being...
hope the best for my UT...
which is commencing in 45mins...
nervous... =x
no lah...
kidding de juz wanna pass...
bye~ for now~ =p

it's after school le...
now waiting for her to finish her RJ...
decided to go training...
sOoOooo tonight maybe no time to blog...
i mean too tired to blog...
sOoOooo..
maybe...
and i mean maybe this is the last entry of the day...
hais...
i am feeling sO slack lor...
don feel like walking...
even standing up...
die le...
later still have physical training...
but nvr mind...
can see her..
motivated lah...=x
tonight have Jue Dui SuperStar...
but then cannot watch...
can only see the results...
nvr mind...
got someone to help me record...
bye~ for the time being bahz...

first time after a month of slacking process...
i did my work...
and my facilitator said it's a good job!
i am sOoOooo happy now...
i love Enterprise Module...
sOoOoooo interesting...
btw...
i am feeling not sO good now...
and i don feel like going for badminton training...
how?~
but i am afraid that if i don go...
i will miss the chance to play in the friendly match...
hais...~~~
how?~
aiyah...
if she go then i go lor...
actually now she's one of my motivation to go...
another motivation is my dream to become a badminton player...
sOoOooOoooo...
i shall see...
hope bahz...~

sOoOoooo funny...
my friends all like to sleep more and come school late...
but i'm different...
i like to sleep early and come school early...
i am weird... fine-_-"
kidding...
hais...
btw yesterdayyy what i post...
the things inside...
are the words that haunts my heart...
i am sOoOooo depressed right now...
undergoing all these...
everyday i wake up feeling especially tired...
when will that love i want finds me?...

had cell juz now...
i share another testimony...
happy to do sOoOoooo...
and then started talking on the topic...
which is 'RELATIONSHIP'...
see...
i noes GOD understand and aware what i am going thru now...
he noes that i am in some problem...
that i have no solution in...
and he is here to guide me along...
though i am not in a relationship...
but i struggle...
for many years...
been thru sOoOooo many bad experience...
from good to bad...
den from bad to worst...
i noes my status well in relationship (BGR) matters wise...
for i will always be the one compromising...
or the one waiting...
the one who always gave all the love...
but got nothing in return...
and always being my own wishful thinking...
for i am such an average guy no one will adore...
but i will nvr blame myself...
'coz God created me and wants me to be look like this...
there's reallyyyy nothing i can do except to hope...
hoping for the slightest chance...
but i know that it's not quite possible...
maybe she thinks we can only be friends...
'coz i feel i am nothing but a friend to her...
i can't understand...
God does...
i will juz follow the flow...
the current and see where God leads me to...
i missess her...
day and night...
dreaming about her...
thinking how will it be like to walk with her hand in hand...
face happiness and sadness, troubles...
all lies in God...
for FATE is created by GOD...

heyyyy...
juz ended school...
feeling sOoOooo much calm now...
juz now suddenly sOoOoOoo many things run thru my mind...
i hates it...
i don wan this kind of life anymore...
when can it change?...
i yearn for that for a long time...
i believe that GOD knows me...
he knows what i am thinking...
everydayyyy how i wish i can call her...
see her...
spend my time with her...
all this seems so unreal to me now...
i juz feel this will nvr happen...
hais... i shld stop now...
or else i will get sadder...
now it's after school...
later got cell at 6.30...
keen lloking forward to it...
'coz i know GOD will be there with us...
i want to tell him my problems...
he's everything...
she's my wish too...

i gave everything...
in order to earn that litttle hope...
but still i don see it...
i feel so nothing to her...
hais...
all i wish now is to see her face...
there's no solution to it...
i will juz die from it...
it's time i return to my world...
of illusion...
and shut myself off this cruel world...
i hate my life...
and i hate myself...

about half an hour later there's UT...
hais...
don like this module lor...
but then hope i can at least pass the UT lor...
hope can get a 'B'...
dunno whether she's here in school todayyy.
missesss her loads...

had a fantastic dinner juz now...
with 3 of my besta friends...
veron...
qiqi...
ward...
happy happy and happy...
ate sOoOoooo much juz now...
can hardly walk now...
cheap food but yummy!
looking forward to this kind of occasion more...
i want more of it!!! ^_^
hais...
but then...
thinking that she's still down with flu...
i feel abit sad...
not abit lah...
very!
though she said she okayyy le...
but i still worried for her...
'coz she nvr see doctor...
hope she rest well...
and drink more water... (it helps!)
i last time also like that...
now i recover le...
i want her to be well...
i will pray for her day and night...
for her recovery of health...
and happiness bahz... =p

it's 3.50 now...
and school's ended already...
delight filled my whole body...
'coz later going to eat dinner with my beloved gang...
the -SEVEN CROWS-...
but then quite a few still haven confirm...
hope it's still on...
'coz sOoOoOoooo long no see them le...
except for qiqi lah...
'cos i juz saw her yesterdae...
hahahahahahaha...
btw... hope they can reply my sms or give me a call...
to confirm about this dinner thing...
hopeful bahz...

i am sOoOoOoooo sad...
'coz she's not in school todayyyy...
SHE'S SICK!!!!
oh no!!!!
hais...
don wan her to get sick...
*heartbreak* =x
i sick aboutto recover le then her turn now...
she stay home also good lah...
at least she can rest well...
get well soon...
then can see her again soon...
sOoOooo not going training anymore...
actually nvr wanted to go for todayyyy...
and since now she not going i confirm not going...
another reason is i too tired le...
need some peaceful rest...
think she shld visit the doctor...
missess her loads...
and worried for her lotssss...

early in the morning 8 o'clock...
i am here to blog... -_-"
so lame...
okayyyy...
btw...
she's sick sia...
piank piank... =(
look after her... =x
hais...
if she let me to lah... =p
hope she recover soon lor...
missess her loooads...

i miss her~
wonder where's she is now...
maybe still outisde bahz...
coz not online yet...
gonna blog now cos later no online le...
cannot tok to her later =(
nvr mind tmr i will see her...
*grins*
hope her dinner was not heaty food...
'coz she getting sick le...
don wan her end up like me...
i will piank piank ^heartbreak^... =p
i will pray for her!!!
`muacks````

my school de system is down...
sOoOooo now can go home...
think gonna go see doctor...
'coz the pain of that ulcer in my throat ish juz...
simply unbearable...
OUCH!!!!
later go home hope i will remember to do my RJ...
or else no grade for todayyy...
not studying with her todayyy...
'coz she decided to go out...
sad sia...
no see her again...
but i will tmr...
'coz got training...
i missessess her loads... LOTS...
hais...
how i wish todayyy can see her...
no chance... hais...
nvr mind...
i will juz miss her... ^-^

aiyOoOoOoooo...
thought i can stay concentrate the whole day...
but then in the end...
hahaha...
i was sOoOooo enthu at the start...
in the end leh...
i mean now...
i am slacking...
playing games...
talking to ppl on messenger...
dunno how to do mah...
no choice...
oKoK...
i don wanna give excuses...
i admit...
i am lazy lor... =p
later still haven confirm studying not...
hope got lah...
then will be able to see her sia... =D

still not sure my laptop reallyyyy spoil not...
cos juz now i hear the sound again like normal le...
hope there's nothing wrong...
^-^
later dunno will be able to study with her not...
maybe she going out...
haben confirm...
missess her... LoAdS...

reached school at 7.45am...
and realised something wrong with my laptop!!!
sobz sobz...
i sick my laptop oso sick meh?
the fan in my laptop gave out weird sounds...
not like the usual sound...
i am sOoOoooo worried...
i gonna bring it to the Fujitsu helpdesk...
sad!!!!!
hope there's nothing wrong...
=(

yesterdayyy realli too busy le...
no time to blog...
not even have the time to breathe... =x
got soccer match early in the morning at 8.30...
then got badminton training at 12...
after that have church at 6...
wah!!!
i seem like superman...
one day sOoOoooo many activities...
but at least my life ish change...
i mean...
i am not feeeling alone now...
felt quite happy...
so many friends are showing their concern to me...
when they knew about my stuffs...
thru my friendster blog... ( don use anymore )
appreciated it and thanks man...
todayyyy lehz...
spent my whole day out with qiqi...
actually wanna swim...
but it rained...
so we had breakfast...
at 8.30am...
sOoOoooo early...
and we head and reached town at 10...
we walk around...
no shops opened yet...
sOoOoooo we went to eat something...
todayyyy whole day me and qiqi were like...
eating and walking...
eating and walking...
so funny...
had a lot of fun...
she was quite stress too...
with her school projects and work at giodarno...
hope just now she had a great time...
spending some time with her "brother"... ( god-brother )
hais...
next topic...
that is...
i juz saw 'her' yesterdayyy...
and i miss her now... =x
*muackz*... nitez...

yeah!!!!
end school le...
happy...
fantastic 4!
hope time pass quickly...
now feeling abit sad...
cos she goes offline then nvr tell me...
hais
no lah..
actually just feel abit sianz...
no one to talk to...
i miss her!!!
hope tmr she can make it to training..
*muackz*

yeah...
later going meet my friends...
last time work IRAS de friends...
happy...
at last got time to go out...
ever since stop working...
miss them lor...
waching muveee...
hahaha...
Fantastic 4...
heard it was quite nice...
and it look interesting to me too...
the advertisement sure caught my eyes...
but then muz stay in school for quite long after school...
'coz they will onli reached at 6.45pm...
think i gonna rot in class alone...
now preparing for presentation...
so tired cum bored...

sleepy lor...
now in class...
stoning in front of my laptop...
nothing to do also...
wanted to sleep more...
but rather come school earlier...
maybe used to it le lor...
yesterdayyy mummy cook spaghetti...
it's so nice...
and 'coz i need to go home eat...
that's why nvr send her home...
when i was in midst of training...
i feel a sudden of sadness...
wonder why...
i did not feel like talking...
and i feel frustrated...
i thought it over...
it's that i can't control my feelings...
that's all...
sOoOoooo many weeks i have been pondering...
'bout the same issue...
but the more i ponder and think...
the more i want to cry...
the more i think i am i'm pitiful...
all my life i am waiting...
that's my destiny...
"i think"... -_-"

now is 2.22pm...
another one more hour finish school...
today was a very slacking day for me...
didn't do much things...
guilty...
juz feel so tired...
and lazy...
i feel like lying on the floor now...
hahaha... -_-"
having presentation now...
and obviously i am not listening...
'coz i'm here blogging...
hais...
just hope can faster end school...
then can see her...
after that can play badminton...
[xiang si ta le]

yesterday had cell till sOoOoooo late...
reached home sOoOoooo tired...
don even have the energy to go blog...
hahaha...
now so bored...
nothing to do lor...
enterprise so sianz...
hais...
later got badminton training for 2 hours...
got badminton...
got her...
happy!!!!
missssss her lah... muackz

now doing rj...
surfing internet for a while...
must relax relax a while...
later studying...
study and study and study...
my "favourite" subject...
lol...
that's why i fail...
hahaha...
hais...
sad sia...
feeling so low...
and confuse...
nothing i can do...
just hope for the best bahz...
one of my best friend weisheng...
saw my profile...
then ask me 'bout it...
concern...
touched sia...
thanks lots lots...
appreciated it alot lot lot...
[win]

everyday i wake up...
i think of you...
i will miss you...
at the same time...
i know i am not the one in ur mind...
i feel i am the foolish one...
one sided love...
i am just so stupid...
you will nvr be mine...
it's juz my own wishful thinking... =(

i miss her~

skip school...
skip school...
skip school...
'cos don like the module...
not that it's not interesting...
just that the faciliator simply s***...
nothing to say 'bout this...
everyone in the class dislikes her...
so FAKE!!!
btw...
can't skip anymore for this module...
max. can skip 2 times...
and i have done it... -_-"
nvr mind...
i shall try to like the module...
not the faciliator...
and today morning went to play badminton...
so fun... paid for one hour but stayed for 4 hours...
cos the ppl in the CC dunno...
they don check...
sOoOoooo i benefit... =p
quite tired now...
got to know she skip school todayyyy oso...
'coz she went to Sentosa... againnnn...
hais...
five dayssss no see her...
going mad now... =p
missessessessess her lotsa lotsa...
wonder how long i can cling on...
sOoOoOoooo many times i feel myself letting go...
but in the end...
i grab that rope back...
'coz i know my hearts outta...
tmr study study study...
wif her ^_^...
looking forward to seeing her sia...
[win]

hais...
tmr not going school...
'coz going see sinseh...
my toe!!!!
hurts man...
sianz...
plus tmr i haven seen her for 5 days le...
missess her loads...
wonder if she feels it...
hais...
i'm in pain...
no one knows...
no one cares...
damn sad...
God will love me...
saddened by all those doubts...
and the love that nvr returns...
*love and miss ya*

i am sOoOooooooo doubtful...
you are sOooOooo near yet sOoOoooo far...
somehow yesterdayyy i thought if i am doing the right thing...
loving you...
yet not loved...
everyday's hope...
tired of it...
i know ur place in my heart...
but do i mean nothing to you?

todayyyy my dearest mom cooking dinner...
happyyyy!
it's been quite some time since i ate her cooking...
excited...
looking forward to it too... ^_^
actually studying...
but she sms me yesterday said she accompanying her friend...
who is doing some shopping...
although i thought she will prefer studies...
cos it's obviously more important...
but nvr mind...
as long as she is happy...
i am too!!!~
maybe GOD just wants me to spend more time with my family...
i will...
^really miss her^

oh my!!!
just now when heading for dinner at suntec...
had a bus accident...
i am not not being hit lah...
but someone was injured...
a car sped thru when it wants to turn right...
the bus i was boarding was not in fault as it was green light...
the bus driver shouted at first then hit the horn repeatedly...
but everything was too late...
the bus brake and skiied a litlle but the car came crashing in...
the whole front part of the car was dented...
SCARY!!!!
when the car and the bus collide...
the impact was sOoooo great that i flew the the front...
but praise GOD i had my friends who held on to my shirt...
to stopped me from plunging more forward...
at that very moment...
i did not feel any fear...
but in fact...
i felt peace...
and i knew it must be GOD...
i also felt warmth as if GOD had hold me back too with his hands...
thank you JESUS and GOD!!!!
if i had not been hold back i dare not think what will happen...
but i hurt my toe...
it's okayyyy...
i am just as greatful to GOD who saved my life...
he's a GOD of protection...
hope the lady who was injured be fine and recover!!!~~
[win]

now at grandma's house...
sOoOoOoooo ong nvr visit her...
feel abit guilty...
'cos for the past few weeks i've been going out...
drink my favourite tea...
home-made by grandma...
the best tea i ever drank...
actually today going out with maureen...
but then i think she changes her number then nvr tell me...
that's why i cannot contact her...
let's see whether she will call me not...
then discuss about it bahz...
and btw...
maybe tmr studying with her...
but still not sure yet...
cos she maybe going out with her friends bahz...
hope can study tgt lor...
_miss her till crazy_

just finish badminton training...
reach home not long ago...
feeling sOoOooo disappointed now...
sad =(
cos she last min decided not to come for training...
cannot play with her...
cannot talk to her...
and cannot see her!!!! =(
but then she got sms me...
at least still got contact her...
three days plus tmr i will not see her...
gonna miss her lots and lots and lotssss...
i want to see her... =(
btw...
luckily todayyy is saturday...
sOooOoooo i will be heading down to church...
to worship someone who loves me...
GOD!!!!
he knows what i am thinking and feeling right now...
hais...
she is now in town i think...
hope she enjoys herself bahz...
-MISS HER EVERY SINGLE SECONDS-

the training was not fun at all...
and makes me angry...
someone said those who goes to RP are not to study...
but to play...
i was so damn piss off lor...
but i knows GOD want me to be forgiving...
so i am...
or else i wonder what words will splatter right thru my mouth...
okayyyy i must relac...
btw after the training i sms her...
but then she was in town playing... -_-"
sOoOoooo can't meet her =(
sad sia...
thus i went home alone thinking of her on the bus...
hope can see her tmr bahz...
cos there is badminton training...
realli miss her loads...
*muackz*

so happyyyyy...
end school le...
don like basic science lor...
the teacher sucks...
todayyyy shoot me again...
say i everytime talk on the class...
and play games when i should be paying attemtion...
hais...
but then todayyyy...
i merely talk and joke for a while mah...
like that onli...
btw...
later going taewondo training...
so tired...
maybe after that can meet her...
so happy...
realli hope to see her...
hais...
*missesssesssesss her*

just eaten...
ate PRATA...
one of my all time favourite...
yummy~!!!!
btw today's science problem at least not so difficult...
still can tackle it...
but need to recap on the chapter 'MOLE'...
which i hate most...
anyway...
i was quite happy cum relieved that she's not skiiping school...
after the Understanding Test...
'coz i thought that will be a very bad habit...
i want her to be in school...
so even if i can't see her...
at least i can talk to her...
*grins*
[missssssssssses her]

now is 7.54am...
reach school at 7.40am...
haha...
so early hor?
no choice...
wanna use internet mah...
'coz later got UT...
computing UT...
hope it's not too difficult...
i not good in computing lor...
best hope bahz...
pray for me~!
*misses her*

just reach home...
not long ago...
left school at about 7.30pm...
then went to eat at AMK...
with her & another friend...
sOoOoOoooo happy to see her...
send her home after dinner...
then i reach home at about 10.10pm...

todayyyy i found that i have something going thru in my mind...
i thought it over...
and get to noe what's it...
i was afraid she will be taken awayyyy...
what i have been saying really sounds sOoOooooo fantasy...
but it's real...
i miss her everyday...
i like her...
i love her...
nothing will change that...
maybe some people may think i am fake...
all these things i said here are fake...
wrote to let people see and sympatize me...
i won't...
i just want to say these words out here...
for i do not have the courage to do so face to face...
i yearn one day my heart,love will be accepted...
i have given out everything...
i am ready to give more...
but something's bothering me...
i feel i know little about her...
'coz there are so many things i dunno...
what should i do?...
when i had not love someone so much...
and keen to see her everydayyyy...
my deep feelings...
no one will understand...
*miss her*

now is like 10mins before training...
so tired already...
'coz just now went to play a while...
tonight must sleep early...
or else tmr i sure sleep in class de...
todayyyyy morning wake up i felt so guilty...
i wanted to have my time alone with God...
that flash thru my mind when in cell...
but in the end i lost to the Devil again...
i was so stupid...
i went to sleep directly...
sadddd....
now like...
she's sitting beside me... happy
*yeah!!!!*

just came back from lunch...
quite full now...
ate mixed economic rice...
actually after that wanna eat prata de...
but then queue so long...
wait till i faint...
so i didn't in the end...
just now second meeting we ask faciliator about our FMT...
luckily we ask...
for we now are on the right track...
whewwwwww!!!!
later training... yeah!!!!
badminton... yeah!!!!
see her... YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!!

my friends often say that i am very lucky...
'coz i have no exams and homeworks...
but in fact i have exams...
or i should say tests...
the tests are not easy...
this time all the year ones did so badly...
for enterprise Understanding Test 2...
got sort of lecture from my Faciliator...
i somehow felt guilty...
God gave me this chance in RP...
and now i am not striving hard...
i feel i had letdown God... =(
sOoOoooooooooooooo...
i have decided that i should work hard...
for all my modules and my retake of 'O' levels E-maths...
it's for my own good...
i am the one who will benefit...
butttttttt...
now i am facing a problem...
todayyyyy's enterprise prob so difficult...
hais...
but i gonna do it no matter what...
=) *miss her*

had cell just now...
it ended late...
but i still loves cell so much...
i just can't describe the feeling...
although RP cell is small...
but i can feel the warmth...
the special warmth that exists in families...
that's why i love attending cell...
before that actually wish could study with her...
but then she wanna go home =(
nvr mind... i will get to see her tmr...
tmr have badminton training in school...
gonna be tired...
*miss her*

now having second meeting...
todayyyy's problem quite interesting...
about ethics conflict blah blah blah...
so bored now...
fac asking questions... -_-"
nowdays she's always talking about skipping school...
quite worried for her...
=miss her=

now in school liao...
cos later got UT then cannot online...
must wait till 9.15 mah...
at home nothing to do also...
slept early yesterdayyyy...
morning wake up more energy...
hope the UT is not too difficult...
got not much confidence...
cos past few weeks' prob i not very good in them...
aiyahhhh... just hope can pass... ^_^

today have badminton training...
i was still sick...
haven recover...
ran 3 rounds of futsal court...
damn tired...
cos too long period no training le...
then after that more tough...
asked to run up a slope 5 times...
this i cannot take it...
cos i am sick...
then feel like throwing out...
so stopped after the 3rd time...
rest on the bus and felt better...
thus send her home...
happy... ^_^
every moment she's in my mind...
i will always think what she is doing at the moment...
tmr have cell meeting...
gonna rest early...
think will reach home late...
and the day will be long...
ZzZzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
*miss her*

i miss her...
although i see her almost everyday...
i feel i gave more than i thought i would...
but i'm still doubtful...
is she attached?
i feel i am not aware of something...
and she doesn't want me to noe too...

cognitive... problem solving...
this module makes me mad...
none of the problem each week is interesting...
still prefer enterprise... =p
now so BORED...
nothing to do...
cos everyone in the class does not know how to solve...
all take answers from their friends...
so now all complete...
but too early complete now slacking away...
CS also cannot play...
msn tok till sianz le...
haiyOoOooooooooo...

suppose to wake up at 6am...
but i did at 7...
sOoOoooo tired...
cannot help it...
slept at 9 yesterday...
but not still sleepy...
todayyyy's problem not my type...
programming codes in Cognitive module...
sianz...
i miss her...

i am reallyyyyy tired...
yesterday went to my friend's hse to play game...
didn't get to sleep...
whole day feel like fainting...
no mood too...
nvr eat throughout the whole day...
first time i can survive...
i am hungry but got no appetite...
i feel sOoOoooo sick...
if she's here...
how nice will it be...
i feel lost...
my body is cold on the inside and hot on the outside...
shows that i am SICK!!!!
it's been a week...
haven seen the doctor...
no time...
if i can look at her everyday...
i will recover for sure... =p
i've nvr love someone so much before...
such deep feelings...

feel so helpless now...
having presentation now...
and my team have not completed our work...
very worried for my grades...
wonder if can pass...
hope so bah...
other groups completed their task so early...
my group was like struggling all the way...
so tired now...
lessons are getting from bad to worst...
can't stand it anymore...
i wan to leave the class now!!!!!
two more hours...
then i can see her already...
so eager...
*muackz*
^_^

throat so uncomfortable now...
sOoOoooo hungry now...
but then worry for my throat...
feeling so uncomfortable now...
coughing non stop sia...
and today computing like shit lor...
the problem so weird de...
like nvr teach before...
just started teaching then expect so much from us...
also nvr ask us really understand not...
and nvr ask whether we need more time...
so unreasonable...
HUNGRY!!!!
still have three hours...
must survive thru...
must later study with her...
see her then feel better...
pschological healing...
^_^

sOoOooooo tired now...
having computing lessons...
today problem so difficult...
wonder how i gonna survive...
yesterday night last minute went to my friend's house...
to play game...
obviously play game then nvr sleep...
now my eyes sOoOoooo red...
later still gonna study...
also not very confirm got study not...
hope can lor... then can see her...

went to watch Aviva Opem's final...
saw an exciting match...
Taufil VS Chen Hong...
but eventually Taufik won in straight sets...
after that actually planned to go bugis for dinner...
but they(she) were tired...
so we went to AMK instead...
met her friends...
the scene was awkward...
just said hi...
and nvr tok after that...
no introdution too...
weird lor...
thought can send her home...
but didn't have the chance...
in fact i was very contented already...
these five days i have her company...
i was able to see her...
able to talk to her...
able to play with her...
HAPPY...^_^
i just want her to be happy... that's all...
hope that the chances may grow...
miss ya~

just now watch an exciting match lor...
but then...
quite disappointing lah...
as Ronald Susilo lost to Lin Dan...
in straight sets lor...
thought at least can win him one set...
but it's all over now...
so many people was there at indoor stadium...
all waiting for that match...
after that all went off...
so funny...
think this match is what everyone wants to see again...
sOoOoOoooo tired!!!!! =(
todae nearly can't wake up...
tmr must wake up earlier cos got UT...
sIaNzZzZzzzz...
just now sent her home... happy...
before that went to eat supper... ^_^
gtg and sleep now... ZzZzzzzzz...